Anxiety is the Enemy

I have a confession. I suffer from frequent panic attacks. I never know exactly when one is going to sneak up on me, but I am on a daily mission to overcome the anxiety in my life. Sometimes it feels like it is a minute by minute battle. Over the past 15 years I have done a lot of soul searching and have began to understand the role that anxiety plays in my life.
I am a high energy person. I usually have 40 irons in the fire. I have a very hard time relaxing and sitting for any length of time. I often overplan my days and feel inadequate that I didn't get everything that I set out to do done.
I can relate to those ADHD kids that I teach on a daily basis. I understand how noise can amp up someone's insides and make them feel like they are going to burst with nervous energy. I have trouble driving my car on sunny days. The shadows that the trees make on the road as I am steering make me feel like it's a thousand stroble lights going off. It's equally hard to listen to the radio and have a conversation at the same time with someone.
When I sense a panic attack coming on I immediately have that fight or flight response. This surge of nervous energy wells up in my stomach and it makes me feel like I could run laps around my house. I absolutely hate it. It makes me irritable, flighty, and oversensitve to every little thing.
This past summer the anxiety started to get out of control to the point where I didn't want to leave my house. I had designated safe places in my mind that I knew I had to go to and that I didn't feel anxiety about going there. Anywhere other than those places, I chose to stay at home. But realizing this was what was happening and that the anxiety was in a way handicapping my ability to function "normally" I chose to consult with my doctor for help.
He diagnosed me with a panic disorder that often can be alleviated through the use of medicine and behavioral therapy. I have been down the medicine and therapy route in the past, and it wasn't a very pleasant or positive experience for me, but I knew that this would be his suggestion. My soul objectives were to understand the anxiety and attain some practical coping strategies to help me get through the panic attacks without feeling like I was going to implode.
In an effort to minimalize some of the stress in my life, I have became a much more forward individual. I do not have the energy to lament over trivial things or get fussed up about people or new initiatives at work, or stewing parents. Instead, I have chosen to take the bull by the horns approach and problem solve as soon as it is possible so I don't take those things home with me and think about them at night. This has been a positive decision on my part, although I have been a little too forward on some occasions because I didn't give myself enough time to plan thoughtfully what I needed to say when I needed to say it. Let's just say this is a strategy in progress and I have some growing to do.
I have also tried to aquire the ability to politely say, "No thank you." I am a fixer. I want to help people. But sometimes I take on too many other people's burdens and causing more stress for myself. So I have chosen to try to keep my life as simple as possible, putting the needs of my family first and then if I have the time, energy and ability, do for others.
I have began to communicate more openly what is causing me anxiety and enlisting in the help of others that are close to me to offer me some suggestions that may help me get through whatever it is that is flaring up at that moment. This requires an open mind, and being willing to hear things that may make me feel badly. But it really is effective for my stress management.
Admitting this to the world feels a little like standing here completely naked, but for those of you who know me, it will probably put a few pieces of the puzzle together that you may have been thinking about when it comes to me and my personality. This is also part of my attempt to climb this mountain. We often find community with others, sometimes even complete strangers. I would love to hear your comments and feedback and click the like button if you can relate. :)