I, I, I was abstinent….

As a Kindergarten teacher, I have accumulated so many funny stories from the little people that I have taught over the years that I could probably write a book. But because I have the attention span of an ADHD Kindergartener, I am only going to share one of those stories right now (instead of starting that book) as a tribute to one of my former students (let's call him Chuck) who is moving out of my school and who I will miss seeing every day. :(

Chuck was what we call a "repeat offender." That's redneck for someone who has repeated a grade more than one time. I happen to be a repeat offender, myself. I went to Kindergarten twice, and now I teach it! I entered school the first time at the ripe ole age of 4 because I was turning 5 within a few months of starting school. My mom thought I was ready, until I clung to her leg every morning and screamed and cried and had to be picked up from school repeatedly because I was such an emotional basket case. I had never attended preschool and my mom was a stay-at-home mom, so I had never been away from home. And when she put me on the bus that first time I thought she was sending me to an orphanage never to return home again. It had finally gotten so bad that my teacher, who was extremely pregnant at the time, told my mom very clearly one day, "Keep her home for the rest of the year, and let's try this again next year."

Anyhow, back to Chuck. Chuck had a tendency to miss a lot of school for random reasons that didn't always pertain to sickness. Chuck also had a severe speech impediment and he stuttered, so at times I felt like I needed an interpreter to tell me what he said. One week he had missed school on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and finally on Thursday he came skipping in to class at arrival and I said, "Chuck! You're here! Where have you been all my life?!"

Chuck looked at me and stuttered out, "I, I, I was abstinent." (That's Kindergarten speak for absent apparently). Another teacher was walking passed us at that exact moment and I thought he was going to wet himself laughing so hard. :)